Customer Service: The Right Way

My friends, you can shut down the Wharton School.

It is no longer necessary for people to get an inferior education at the Wharton school, Harvard Business School, or any other crummy Ivy League university.

Ditto to the London School of Retards.

All you need to do is take a trip to Wayne, New Jersey to the headquarters of Konica Minolta and see what customer service is all about.

I am a pediatrician.

In my office we have an x-ray processor. It is a digital processor. We take x-rays on a cassette in our x-ray room, and then we put them into the Konica Minolta processor to develop them.

I have owned this processor for five years now.

I bought it used off a veterinarian. Or a chiropractor. I can’t remember.

Irrelevant.

When I got the x-ray processor, I did not completely understand how to use it because the vendor didn’t go into too many details.

Consequently I had to figure out a lot of it myself. But there were things I couldn’t figure out. Consequently I had to call Konica Minolta in order to fine-tune the machine and get it up to speed.

Remember, I was not the original purchaser of the machine.

This did not matter at all to Konica Minolta. They were well aware that I was not the original purchaser, yet they serviced the machine.

Everything was accomplished over the Internet.

This is how they do their customer service.

When you call into Konica Minolta, the person who answers the phone will ask for the serial number on the back of the machine. That’s not a big problem to find.

After I give them the serial number, the technician will then ask you what your problem is. After you tell them, they will handle the problem to completion.

They will not send you off to another person.

That’s right, the person who answers the phone knows how to handle everything regarding that processor.

I am not kidding. This is highly technical stuff. They know how to get into your computer through Team Viewer and handle all the programming behind the scenes.

Every time that I have called up there I have called to one rep, and they have handled everything to completion. Many times I can just walk away from the machine while they do the programming.

I can’t tell you how happy I am with their service.

This is the way to do service.

Let’s hope that an American company or wheeler-dealer like Mitt Romney, Bain Capital, Carl Icahn, Warren Buffett, Charles Munger, or any of America’s corporate scum gets hold of Konica Minolta.

If they do, they will ruin the company.

They will immediately employ a voice menu ten miles long in order to direct you to someone who doesn’t know what they’re talking about.

That person more often than not will be located in either India or the Philippines.

Even though they speak English, they will not understand how Americans solve problems.

This is because foolish Ivy League graduates like Mitt Romney, Warren Buffett, Charles Munger, and Carl Icahn do not understand that English speaking people from different countries think differently. We solve problems differently.

Our cultures are different.

In the Philippines, politeness is important. In America, we couldn’t give two flips about being polite.

Being rude is our calling card.

We want to cut to the chase and get the problem solved. Polite formalities are frustrating to us.

We don’t want to be asked how our day is going. You don’t know me, and I don’t know you. We’re not getting together to drink beers later tonight.

Additionally, you can bet your ass that a technician at a call center in a foreign country will have been selling tacos the week before. That person won’t know diddly about your x-ray processor.

In time customers will flee.

Do you think somebody like Warren Buffett will give two flips and a fiddle about that? He most certainly will not because he will employ quants who will figure out: “Okay, Warren, we will lose 10% of our business by employing know-nothings in the Philippines, but we will save 30% in costs by farming out jobs to cheap labor. Plus, Warren, We’ve already ripped them off for the cost of the machine. We are already winners. LOL.”

You can bet your ass that this is what will happen when our American entrepreneurs educated at inferior, corrupt, crummy schools like the Wharton school are allowed to take over a company like Konica Minolta.

And that’s the way it is.

If you want an education on how to do customer service, go visit Konica Minolta.

They will show you the way.

Sincerely,

Archer Crosley

Copyright 2021 Archer Crosley All Rights Reserved

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