Rob Strikes Again

As I have stated several times before, Rob Manfred will ruin baseball.

His latest announcement, and I assume venture, will be to institute automated calling of strike and balls by 2024.

That’s right, the judgment of the home plate umpire when it comes to the calling of strikes and balls will be eliminated.

A computer will do that for us. The results will be relayed to the umpire who will then weakly signal strike or ball.

I’m sure there are a lot of people who will be happy with this.

Players reportedly will be happy with this.

Fans reportedly will be happy with this.

Not me. It’s the first step on a slippery slope. Why have umpires at all? Why don’t we automate everything?

Say, does it necessarily follow that you should use technology just because you have it?

Must everything be perfect?

Must everything be improved upon?

Rob Manfred, as a dutiful graduate from Harvard University will once again prosecute Harvard University’s Third Reich ideology of perfection upon society.

Will it work?

Can man be perfected?

Does man desire to be perfected?

Is it a good idea to perfect man?

Time will be the ultimate judge here, but I think not.

In the case of baseball, automating of strikes and  balls is another step in removing humanity from the game.

The roadblock here is that we are all fundamentally human.

As such we all naturally gravitate toward imperfection in our lives in order to relax.

That’s why we like quirky singers and quirky actors. They don’t follow the rules.

They are different.

Our human minds become frustrated with too much order, logic and symmetry.

Logic, order, and symmetry place too much demand upon our fragile minds.

Imperfection in life relaxes us just as jazz music relaxes us. Jazz is an imperfect mishmash of notes that take irregularly irregular directions.

A Jackson Pollock painting relaxes us in a similar way.  We don’t have to think when we look at a Jackson Pollock painting.  That relaxation makes the painting more interesting and valuable to us.

Baseball is another form of entertainment.

We like baseball, at least most of us do, because it puts us at ease.

It’s a chance to get away from the rules of the regular world.

Even though we may not be fully cognizant of such, we go to a baseball game to see the irregularly irregular things that can happen.

We’re not just looking for a victory but also spectacular plays and spectacular screw-ups.

It is those screwups that are often more fun to watch than the spectacular plays.

We love it when the manager races out and screams in the umpire’s face.

We love it when a red-faced Aaron Boone gets ejected.

We die inside when a player lets a ball get through his legs.

We cringe when an outfielder drops a catchable fly ball.

The spectacular screwups additionally give us the opportunity to scream at the players and umpires.

Throw the bum out!

Drop dead, you loser!

Automating the calling of strikes and balls helps remove those spectacular screwups and thus make the game less interesting.

Baseball will become more boring and more predictable.

Say, I have an idea. As long as we are transforming baseball so that the calling of balls and strikes is perfect, why don’t we do the same for players as well?

As long as we were getting tired of umpires making mistakes, why don’t we have a baseball game where baseball players don’t make mistakes.

Why don’t we automate the players as well?

Wouldn’t it be more enjoyable if we had players who never made errors in  throwing or catching the ball?

Do you get my drift?

Imagine a baseball world where no third baseman ever overthrew the first baseman’s head.

Imagine a baseball world where no pitcher ever threw a wild pitch.

And as long as we are automating perfection in players, through either CGI, or soon to be coming cyborgs, why don’t we have the pitchers throw 102 mph fastballs on every single pitch?

Why should we stop with the umpire?

Indeed, we shouldn’t even begin.

So then why do it?

What does Major League Baseball get out of automating balls and strikes?

I can assure you that nothing happens in this society anymore unless it profits Harvard University and the greedy elite who run things around here.

What Harvard University gains is an endgame far more subtle:  The submission of humanity to algorithms and silicon-based computers.

This in turn leads to your submission to Harvard University as it is Harvard University and their lackeys who control the algorithms and software that control the automated calling of strikes and balls.

Beating you down from a million directions is key to continuing their economic oppression upon you.

That’s what Harvard gets out of it: More money and more power for the greedy elite.

Automating of balls and strikes also gives Harvard the opportunity to indoctrinate you into a world of mandatory perfection and the submission to it. Forget about what a human being might think; our algorithm is supreme; our algorithm is infallible.

Such submission helps engender a further sense of helplessness you have about your life.

You become adjusted to the idea of not being in control of your life, of accepting things the way they are, of not fighting back.

That  not fighting back, that lack of resistance, will in turn weaken you and transform you into a helpless serf for a thousand years and more.

Automating balls and strikes is just one brick in a greater plan to defeat you.

You may not think of it that way. You may think automating the calling of balls and strikes is just a way to improve a baseball game.

That’s precisely what Harvard wants you to think.

Harvard runs the Third Reich that was transported from Nazi Germany into America after WWII. The Third Reich under Josef Goebbels had firm control of sports and entertainment. If they instituted a policy, it was to cement the power of the state and the Nazi party.

Harvard is no different.

These people have a reason for everything.

They’re incredibly smart, but incredibly immoral.

They’re pagans.

Bye, bye, baseball.

Bye, bye, America.


Archer Crosley

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