Kristallnacht and Chicken

KFC recently ran a promotion linking Kristallnacht to selling its crispy chicken.

They have profusely apologized.

Yes, but you said it, KFC.

You must have worked diligently on the campaign.

I have to think that you thought it was a winner for you.

So why is an apology good for you, but not for individuals?

Why are individuals cancelled but not corporations?

Our ignorant Ivy League trained Supreme Court justices erroneously believe that you, KFC, are a person.

So why shouldn’t you be treated like everyone else and be cancelled?

Well, the good news for you is that you shouldn’t be. Nobody should be cancelled for being stupid.

And you are stupid, KFC.

You’re stupid, stupid, stupid.

But because you are a corporation, you will not be canceled.

Anyone else is forced to apologize, then hogtied, butchered, and smoked on a griddle.

You will go rolling along making money for the next 10,000 years.

But if we were consistent and viewed you as a person, as John Roberts believes you are, you would be treated like everybody else. In other words you would be canceled.

So why aren’t you been canceled?

It’s because our ignorant Supreme Court justices treat you as a person when you want to be a person, but treat you as a non-person when you want to be a non-person.

That’s not fair.

It allows you to rack up profits in perpetuity.

In allows you to get off with a slap on the wrist when you conduct malfeasance.

Most people when they commit egregious crimes like fraud have to go to jail when they commit a crime.

Big corporations like you, KFC, like your friends JP Morgan and Goldman Sachs, always get off with paying a fine.

Regular citizens almost never get off with paying a fine.

The judge usually sends them to jail.

When they complain to the judge about how their wife and kids will be affected, the judge says to them: “You should’ve thought of that before you committed the crime.”

In other words, no dice, Bryce.

What happens when a person goes to jail is that he or she loses all their income. Basically his or her business and home economic situation collapse.

When you corporate motherfuckers commit malfeasance, KFC, all sorts of CNBC jerkoffs rush to your defense. They state that it would be unfair to shut down your company.

They start pleading the case for the innocent shareholders, as if they ever gave a solitary fuck about the shareholders before.

So what happens is that the judge issues you – KFC, JP Morgan and Goldman Sachs – a fine.

Regular people go to jail.

Do you see the inequity in that?

John Robert’s doesn’t. Elena Kagan doesn’t. Sonya Sotomayor doesn’t. Clarence Thomas doesn’t. Samuel Alito doesn’t. Neither do the newbies.

They love unlimited corporate power.

They got sexually excited when Aetna merged with CVS.

No corporation is too big for them.

What’s funny is that the Founding Fathers didn’t feel that way.

Here speaks Thomas Jefferson in 1816: “I hope we shall crush in its birth the aristocracy of our moneyed corporations, which dare already to challenge our government to a trial of strength and bid defiance to the laws of our country.”

Isn’t that a riot?

The people who are entrusted to preserve and prosecute the vision of the Founding Fathers couldn’t care less about them.

They think they’re a bucket of schmucks.

The Founding Fathers feared corporate power.

Corporations in those days had to have a specific purpose. Their stated goals weren’t open ended. This was designed to limit the reach of the corporation as their vast money resources could be used to enter any particular market and undercut it in order to dominate the market.

Corporations in those days also had a defined term limit – designed again to limit their power over time.

Corporations were meant to accomplish specific tasks over a specific time frame.

It was also possible to sue the principal officers of the corporation. The principals couldn’t hide behind the corporate shield.

They couldn’t do that because the corporation did not enjoy personhood.

Nowadays, the corporation can take the blame for the misdeeds of its officers while accepting none of the punishments that individuals are compelled to shoulder.

What kind of deal is that?

That’s a great deal!

It’s a win win for the principal officers and the corporation.

Not only do corporations enjoy these perks, they also get the perk of lobbying Congress and participating in political campaigns. They use their vast resources to accomplish that.

And where do they get those resources?

The regular guy.

Corporations are flush in cash. All they have to do is factor the cost of lobbyists into the price of what they charge the American chicken eater.

I’ll bet John Q. American didn’t know that he was paying for corporations to lobby against him.

He is, and in a big way.

It’s a big problem because corporations lobby just as stupidly as they speak.

Just as they set up advertising campaigns linking Kristalnacht with crispy chicken (moral blindness here), they lobby Congress to fight useless wars abroad so as to sell more chicken to the troops.

Think about it.


Archer Crosley

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