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A few years ago I bought a beach house.
It was an old house.
I wanted to give it a fresh coat of paint.
All I had was a bucket of green paint.
So I went down to the home improvement store and bought some different brushes.
Each brush had different colored bristles for the different colors I wanted to use.
The colors I selected were fuchsia, orange, purple and yellow.
I was going to paint the four exterior walls different colors to give the house some zip.
I got all my different colored brushes together and placed them before my bucket of green paint.
Then I dipped them in and painted the house.
But when I did that, the colors came out green.
What the fuck did I do wrong?
I went down to another home improvement store and bought more brushes with different colored bristles – but made by a different company.
I figured that a different brand might do the trick, but when I tried it again, I got the same results.
The entire house came out green.
What the fuck is wrong with you, you might now be asking.
Are you that fucking stupid? The color of the bristle doesn’t mean anything, fool. You’re dipping the brushes in green paint.
It’s the paint, stupid. The paint is green, you scream at me.
The color of the bristle means nothing.
But if you think that, then why do you think that you can take Americans from all walks of life, poor and rich, black and white, man and woman, Jew and Arab and send them to Harvard and Yale and have them come out thinking with any color except the color of that particular school?
Okay, I hear you, babe, five bucks is too much. How about two bucks? Thanks much.
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