Steroids in Sports

I hope someday someone will simply accept that what I say is so instead of defying me just to do it.

Have you met these people? Do you have a friend who is just like that? Do you know somebody who puts up a rebuttal before you’ve even finished your comment?

I don’t want to argue 2+2 = 4, and I don’t want to act in a contrived manner and put the manipulative Ben Franklin routine on people. I don’t want to say to people: I can see your point of view. Have you considered this option?

I’d rather just bluntly state what I perceive to be the truth, then walk away.

I don’t understand why people on television are listened to with a blank check, but I can say the most basic thing like 2+2 = 4 and get an immediate rebuttal.

What is it about television that transforms idiots into experts?

I suppose it’s the fact that they are on television, and that the people who are not on television are not on television.

TV viewers must therefore conclude: Well, he must be pretty special if he’s on television.

Not.

With that stated I’m going to give you my position on steroids in sports.

I think steroids should be legal, and I think we should stop testing.

Instead of testing for steroids, we should set limits on muscle density. We should come up with an objective measure for muscle density just as the bikers come up with hematocrit levels that are acceptable in biking.

Beyond a certain level, you can’t compete.

With these muscle density levels, we can equalize the playing field, and we can also solve the problem we have with transgendered women participating in women’s sports.

Below a certain muscle density level, you are allowed to compete in this group. Above that level you may compete in this other group. Does this make sense?

Transgendered women who are breaking records in women’s sports probably have the muscle density level of a man. Because they have that higher muscle density level, they have to compete with the men, not because they are men but because they have a higher muscle density level.

Does this make sense? We won’t separate competition groups according to gender anymore; we will classify them according to muscle density level.

It will just be a happy coincidence that traditional women will fit in the lower muscle density group while traditional man will fit in the higher muscle density group.

Any individual who exceeds the maximum muscle density level of that group may not compete in that group.

Of course there are other features of being male that confer mechanical advantage, but for now I want to talk about steroids.

Why shouldn’t steroids be legal?

Let’s take the case of Mickey Mantle.

Mickey Mantle was an individual who was blessed genetically with strength and speed.

He obviously had something in his genetics that enabled this. Probably he had an endogenous steroid level that was higher than your average bear. Or he may just have been born with a higher muscle density level.

Let’s assume for the sake of argument that Mickey is still alive.

Why shouldn’t another player who isn’t as genetically blessed be able to elevate his muscle fibers to the same strength as Mickey Mantle?

Follow me now before making judgment.

Mickey Mantle as you know had injuries. He had bad knees.

Why is it acceptable for Mickey Mantle to get knee surgery and fix his knees and bring them to the level of my knees, a person who is blessed genetically with good knees, but I am not permitted to elevate my muscle strength to Mickey Mantle‘s muscle strength?

Why is one particular group of cells in the body allowed to enhance itself but another group of cells is not?

Let’s suppose that Mickey Mantle has bad eyes.

Let us say that he needs eye surgery, or let us say that he needs to wear glasses in order to see the ball better?

Isn’t that cheating?

Why should Mickey Mantle’s eyes receive more privileges than the muscle cells in my body?

Okay let’s talk about pitchers who get UCL reconstruction. UCL construction is also known popularly as Tommy John surgery.

UCL stands for ulnar collateral ligament.

For some unknown reason, sportscasters on television are able to say ACL (anterior cruciate ligament) reconstruction but completely unable to say UCL reconstruction.

I remember reading about Tommy John surgery when I was in medical school. It was right there next to Madonna surgery and the Cher Procedure.

This UCL surgery often makes pitchers better than they were before the surgery.

Isn’t this cheating?

Why is the elbow in a pitcher permitted to enjoy privileges that my muscle cells are not privileged to have?

If a pitcher can improve his elbow, why can I not improve my muscle cells?

Is it my fault that I was born with genetically weaker muscle cells?

If you’re going to deny me steroids to improve my muscle cells, maybe we should prevent pitchers from getting UCL reconstruction? Maybe we should prevent people with bad knees, people like Mickey Mantle, from receiving knee surgery.

Once we come to understand that my cells should enjoy the same rights as the cells in another individual, then we come to see that there’s nothing wrong with steroids in sports as long as it does not result in a muscle density that is above an accepted level.

There, I said it.

Sincerely,

Archer Crosley

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